Friday, December 26, 2008

December 26th

Apologies for being scarce again. It is December 26th, the day after Christmas, and I can't believe I'm saying thank God I got through it, it is over. I don't know where the spirit of Christmas was this year. I really looked hard for it. I have always been the gladsome Christmas elf spreading cheer and love and happiness etc. etc. I just couldn't seem to find it this go round.
Maybe I just wasn't ready this time. That leaves a cloud of guilt engulfing me, I shouldn't be like this. It really makes me sad. I did spend Christmas with family and friends, that is a blessing.
My son is 15 this year. Having him with me is really all the Christmas I need.

Much has happened recently, this entire year. I don't think I've mourned properly for any of my losses, or for that matter even revelled joyously enough in my gains. I need to stop and sit and just be, turn off the engines for a bit, be still, reflect, before I can gather up properly and soldier forth and have faith that 2009 will be fortuitous. So, before the new year comes, I'm slowing down - even if for a few mere moments, because I have to.

So anyway, what is it with this inflatable Christmas we have these days??? Those big tacky blow up figures in peoples' front yards? What is even worse is when they are are deflated, laying there in big plastic heaps, void of air. Merry Christmas, blow me up -

Enough Bah Humbug - hey?

Jody - I hope you are light and free now. "Silence is the loudest words you'll never say..." I miss you, Merry Christmas.

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