Haven't fallen apart yet -

-but I have come close!!!
I was down to 152 yesterday...looking a bit flat again, as I always do after a couple of weeks of dieting, but looking quite lean. I believe that I have gained a bit of size during my diet. I have to be at 148 next Saturday for the First State Power Frenzy. I'm in a better frame of mind than any of the other powerlifting meets I have lifted in thus far. I strongly believe that hypnotherapy has played a major role in helping me achieve that. I don't question my ability as I used to - I used to think that maybe all of my achievements were a fluke, and it was all going to stop one day the moment I had a bad lift. Heck, now I know that I was made to do this. At least until I fall apart!!!LOL
I had to train alone yesterday - I took Friday off as an extra day of rest, which I desperately needed, and then doing the deadlifts exactly a week out from the meet made more sense to me. I also wanted to put myself in the gym at an earlier time of day, to throw my body off now, instead of shocking it on the day of the meet, which is what usually happens. I want to be "ON "this time , more than I can articulate. I haven't been able to put it all together yet, and I so want to prove to MYSELF that I can this on a grand scale.
I don't ever hear other women complain about this, but I will, as I am learning to have no shame - are there other women out there who feel that leaking sensation while pulling hard on the deadlift? Yes, peeing their pants sensation - 385 came up relatively easy, then as i pulled, I actually had momentum slow as the wave of that sensation came over me, and I had to use energy to override that before I could continue on the ascent of the pull. I'm not sure it would bother me so much in a meet if I wet my pants, but I had the rest of my workout to complete, and I didn't want to wear peed pants for another hour at the gym!
AND for the meet GOALS = I hate putting these goals in writing, but I find that it is a necessary "evil".
Squat - I have mastered 465, and the leg strength was there to do another rep, I believe. I just think that learning to hold that weight on my shoulders for more time is my battle. Let's say 470.
Bench - the key piece to this for me is staying tight in the chest as I bring my body to the bar.
I just mentally learned this and was unable to practice this properly the other night on scheduled training session due to all kinds of disasters...hopefully I can master this on meet day. 275 is a reasonable goal...if I could learn to stay tight and not choke in anticipation, a 295 - 300 could happen, it WILL happen soon, but this time???
Deadlift - My goal is 400, B thinks 425 is a reasonable goal. (I will be sure to wear an undergarment pad on the deadlifts - I'd LOL after making that remark but it is really not funny)

first the pictures from last week - 8 weeks to the Nationals.

Monday was a fantastic night up at the Training Center - always a better atmosphere = very conducive to heavy lifting there. SQUATS:
B put his squat suit on for the second time, and hit a 935! He had to unrack it 3 times off the monolift because the weight was crushing him down, he couldn't get the bar up over the lip, and had to lower the setting. All that energy spent and it still was a walk in the park for him(ok, so he walks hard!)
I weighed in at 155 on Monday - hit 405 for four reps. I wanted to go to 445, because I knew that I had done that before, mentally I was preparing for that. While B wrapped my knees Al Fortney snuck over to the bar and slapped 20 more pounds on the bar. I did not know until I was done that I squatted 465...I did it though, and I did it well. That computes to exactly 3x bodyweight...I'm still all giddy and full of myself for that one!!!
It's Thursday and my legs are still lead-like...I am blaminmg the hacks on that one. I am making good friends with that particular hack squat...and slow as I do them I need to be friends with it.
Last night, normally chest delts, tri's, was a DISASTER!!!! For both of us - B was fighting that awful bench shirt thing again. He was in incredible pain, and found out later last night after a trip to the emergency room that he had a busted ear drum, and an infection. He doesn't give in to pain often, when he does you KNOW that there must be a problem.
He wrestled with a couple of sets, then wisely quit.
Me? Well, due to a "low recovery week", I was still beat up from Monday's session. I had five and a half hours sleep the night prior, and I wasn't used to that either - it was the most sleep I'd had in one stretch in weeks, and weeks, and weeks....sleep is beneficial, but when your body is not used to it, mine anyway, it just wants to wallow in the relaxed state once it finally gets some. After yanking on B's shirt while stuffing him in it, my forearms, elbows and even my biceps were already fatigued and sore by the time I got under the bar. I picked off 225 x 8, but they were not what I would call "groove reps". My next attempt B was in his shirt, and a hand-off in a bench shirt just isn't optimal - he "pushed" it out wobbly and I had it wobbly, and it just sucked, then I waited until he took the shirt off, but things were just sucky all over. 255 pause was ok, but I couldn't lock out on 265 pause because my forearms were so incredibly fatigued. So the atmosphere just continued to deteriorate, and I knew that continuing on was pointless, and probably detrimental. So I called it quits, too.

Tuesday morning

We started our weekly mission of traveling up to the Training Center to train last night. It is a fantastic, old school, hardcore gym - we love it. Jack, the owner, is so good to us by letting us come in whenever we can to train. FIRST - B tried on his new T REX squat suit. He went up to 845, and had absolutely NO PROBLEM with it...still about an inch and a half to legal depth, that will take a little more weight - maybe a hundred pounds. He was certainly born to squat!
Second- My leg bruise is distinctly darker, but I had no problems with it training legs last night. In fact, it was the other leg that felt like it was pulling last night. I leg pressed, and I love TTC's leg press. I did three sets, I did ? x 15, ? x15, and 1010 x 12....I hate high reps, but it was good to be able to do them considering my f'd up condition these past few weeks, and the mysterious bruise. I actually felt strong yesterday, and I miss squatting when I watch B, but doing them every other week is surely saving much wear and tear on my body.

Bruised

Here is the newest injury -
The bruise starts at the back of my leg and wraps to the side...it's about 8 inches long, 3 inches wide. There is still a big knot there. It is not painful...thank God. I felt an odd sensation in that spot during warmups for deadlifts when I squatted down. I was so worn out, was only going to deadlift, not do any other back motions...this sleep thing still is hampering me, wearing me way down. Sleep is NOT overated. I keep waking between sleep cycles, and staying awake. It is slowly improving, but I've still long strides, and many hours of sleep to make up. Anyhooooo, I did one at 365, no energy there to get another. It came up fast and easy, but by mid-point I was out of energy. Wisely, I stopped. I didn't think anything else of that spot until a couple of hours later when I stood up and felt a strange sort of pull...not really a pain. I touched it and felt a knot. Later that evening I spotted a small bruise and by yesterday morning - VOILA!!! B thinks it is some torn fibers...Let me not dwell on this for fear of depression.

Too much

Two nights of training back to back is definitely too much. Grrrrrrrroooooannnnn!!! We missed Monday because I had an unexpected root canal, hence Tuesday and Wednesday together... What a fine way to spend a Labor Day. Actually, during the root canal isn't so bad - I can't feel it while it's being performed, and my endodologist is adorable and funny and entertaining...it's afterwards, when the pain hits. The absolute worst part is the antibiotics - I abhor taking them, they make me feel snippy and tired and tense. I'm already snippy and tired and tense!!!Ever since the experiment gone awry last week, I have been a downright mess.
Insomnia has been plagueing me to top all of that off. It's bad when you go in public and have to hang on to countertops and such so you don't sway or fall over....Going in last night to do legs should have been a much more frightening thought than it was...and it WAS a frightening thought. Going under the squat bar with 400+ pounds when you have no equilibrium, a numb brain, get dizzy when you move too quickly, and your eyes are burning and feel like they are sliding down your face is very frightening. HOWEVER, I said to myself that if I just relaxed, and was careful, and instinctively used the knowledge and abilities that I have spent two years learning, I would be ok. My strength was not 100%, maybe 90 to 95%, but when I am forced to be in that mode my technique becomes not quite meticulous, but very good. It has to be.
It was actually a damned good workout. I did hit 425, betcha 445 would have happened. I didn't have OOMPH, though...oomph is where reps happen, without it, the energy to do more than a couple just peters me out.

I did sleep straight through last night more than I have in probably almost two weeks. I think 5 to 5 and a half hours...but with just one night of sleep after being wired out for so long - that's when my eyes roll to the back of my head and don't want to come out until perhaps one more night of uninterrupted sleep.
I moved into an "on beyond exhausted' stage this evening. All kinds of pains and tightness and an empty drained feeling in most every muscle belly in my body. It's not good - I need to eat and rest, and rest, and sleep, and replenish before bad things happen.
However, I can still bench 315 on a bad day, at 154 lbs.. It was a slow, long ascent, but I did it....my foot slipped out from under me, methinks the tread on my tennie is worn and I just pushed so hard that it slipped from under me...wierd. I don't like that. We did alot of pure work tonight, I feel trained, but drained.
I look good!

Lazy Sunday Morning

They came yesterday! B's new toys - a T Rex Squat suit and a pair of briefs, and a Phenom bench shirt. What in the world?!!! Mr. Raw in gear????!!!! Yeppers, prepping for the October 14 Iron Asylum meet. B shall have no problem learning his new outfits, and shattering the current world record squat total for 220 lbs., which is now at 1025 held by Chuck Vogelpohl.
Hi B...are you reading this? You don't need me to tell you that you will do it. Forces are with you if you let them. Please let them.
I, on the other hand, will continue to lift raw, as I find that stuff cumbersome and annoying not only to wear, but it's a nuisance to put on.

I did not lift with B on Friday evening. I was still plagued by low blood pressure, and/or whatever was eating me up. I went in yesterday afternoon. A friggin' rainy Labor Day weekend in Rehoboth Beach. It took nearly an hour to drive the six miles to the gym. Then it was so grossly humid in there...and no towels to wipe my sweaty brow! It was also crowded. I was still somewhat washed out, but strong as I could be. I don't like working out alone, or should I say without B? I also hate stopping to pose in the mirror when I'm alone...I feel very egotistic.

I changed my diet up this morning. Instead of oatmeal with egg whites and protein powder as my first meal, I am switching to a protein bar with peanut butter. I think the sugars in the bar will stream into my system quicker and maybe I'll be less sluggish in the a.m. I really have been suffering with that problem - yesterday with clients and feeling like I was going to fall out of my chair any moment was not good.

I go through being excited about the Nationals, to wondering why the heck I am doing it....bodybuilding is a shallow, egotistical, not even a "sport"....it's all about chemical warfare up there on the stage. I guess I don't want to be lying on my deathbed saying "I could have, should have"...so I'll do it and get it the heck out of my system. Then, back to powerlifting!!! But I get accosted by so many people at the power meets who say "You are a bodybuilder." I want to smack them, but then I suppose it is a compliment on my physique?? OK, sure.......