Haven't fallen apart yet -

-but I have come close!!!
I was down to 152 yesterday...looking a bit flat again, as I always do after a couple of weeks of dieting, but looking quite lean. I believe that I have gained a bit of size during my diet. I have to be at 148 next Saturday for the First State Power Frenzy. I'm in a better frame of mind than any of the other powerlifting meets I have lifted in thus far. I strongly believe that hypnotherapy has played a major role in helping me achieve that. I don't question my ability as I used to - I used to think that maybe all of my achievements were a fluke, and it was all going to stop one day the moment I had a bad lift. Heck, now I know that I was made to do this. At least until I fall apart!!!LOL
I had to train alone yesterday - I took Friday off as an extra day of rest, which I desperately needed, and then doing the deadlifts exactly a week out from the meet made more sense to me. I also wanted to put myself in the gym at an earlier time of day, to throw my body off now, instead of shocking it on the day of the meet, which is what usually happens. I want to be "ON "this time , more than I can articulate. I haven't been able to put it all together yet, and I so want to prove to MYSELF that I can this on a grand scale.
I don't ever hear other women complain about this, but I will, as I am learning to have no shame - are there other women out there who feel that leaking sensation while pulling hard on the deadlift? Yes, peeing their pants sensation - 385 came up relatively easy, then as i pulled, I actually had momentum slow as the wave of that sensation came over me, and I had to use energy to override that before I could continue on the ascent of the pull. I'm not sure it would bother me so much in a meet if I wet my pants, but I had the rest of my workout to complete, and I didn't want to wear peed pants for another hour at the gym!
AND for the meet GOALS = I hate putting these goals in writing, but I find that it is a necessary "evil".
Squat - I have mastered 465, and the leg strength was there to do another rep, I believe. I just think that learning to hold that weight on my shoulders for more time is my battle. Let's say 470.
Bench - the key piece to this for me is staying tight in the chest as I bring my body to the bar.
I just mentally learned this and was unable to practice this properly the other night on scheduled training session due to all kinds of disasters...hopefully I can master this on meet day. 275 is a reasonable goal...if I could learn to stay tight and not choke in anticipation, a 295 - 300 could happen, it WILL happen soon, but this time???
Deadlift - My goal is 400, B thinks 425 is a reasonable goal. (I will be sure to wear an undergarment pad on the deadlifts - I'd LOL after making that remark but it is really not funny)